Who Woulda Thunk It

Rachel Reilly wins $500k in Big Brother 13, she can now outclass herself with a new shade of red, maybe address that skin condition, and also dump Brendon. All of me is happy that Adam won $000k, he's more delusional than Kalia, anyone whose claim to fame is BB Superfan and votes the way he did is a brat and deserves a beating. Poor Daniele took on a beating herself, her father is a certified horse's ass, Kalia had no business blaming the deficit in her gameplay on Daniele, and I'm not sure Jeff deserves $25k for continuing to misunderstand how Big Brother works. Bravo to Jordan for voting the way she did, same to Shelly, nothing against Porsche it's just that Rachel was the kind of player who thought about the game constantly and therefore was more deserving, imho. And is it just me or is Julie getting a little too liberal with the crazed "I NEED AN ANSWER!" hosting style, gawd!

Anyways, thanks for taking the leisure tour, see you next year,
The other Rachel (Libbytown)

Julie Chen: News Homosapien

I've never seen Julie Chen's other string-of-pearls from Les Moonves, The Talk on CBS, but I just read that she was pissing everyone off with statements like "my husband feels strongly that you should not be talking about news [without me], you are not news people," according to the NY Post. Ha!  Bitch.  Two co-hosts, Leah Remini and Holly Robinson Peete were reportedly not asked back to Season 2 (i.e., do not cross Mrs. Moonves) but the Wikipedia confirms that Melissa Jaret Winokur is part of The Talk, which probably explains her DWTS-like live audience appearance in last Thursday's live eviction show (of course, Marissa was also a contestant on DWTS, but nevermind that, DWTS has way more celebs in their audience, I think this is the first I've seen for Big Brother.  Nice touch, Ceebs.)

 Julie Chen eats the flesh of non-news people.

Apparently there was no Sunday episode last night due to the 10th anniversary of 9/11 (why wasn't Julie covering that) but I can say that Adam gets more useless the cockier he gets.  First place loser, baby.  Can't wait!

Bye Jordan

Often, often I think about how well composed the evictees present themselves on Julie baggy-black-pantsuit-with-unnecessary-belly-hidin'-cue-cards-wearin' Chen's couch, until tonight, Jordan was reaaaaallly nervous!  Pardon my muuuaaahhahhahaaaaa.  Not sorry to see her lose to Porsche (muuaaaahhahhhaahaaahhaa) and *shocker* Adam's fallen off the butterejaculating machine.  Hangin' on for more news...!

...not even 10:45pm, Rachel wins.

Whhhhaaaa....

....ah?  I thought there was a telethon last Sunday, I didn't realize there was a nomination episode.  Still thru the miracle of Big Brother Spoilers I was pretty much kept up to date, but it still was a surprise to learn that BB's Otev morphed from a last year's giant clam to a fe-man eating shark.  As if Adam wins anything, and as if cinched leopard print covers a Chegnant ass, I'm sorry.  P.S. Jeff, sorry you didn't convert Shelly to heteroism but it's no reason to make yourself look like more Jake La Mottish.  I guess Adam still won HoH and is in the final 3.  Would he survive an endurance comp? Against a group of people that doesn't include Kalia,hallelujah? Prollyzno. Rachel will probably advance this round, who might she take to the final two?  Jordan's previous win might guarantee her a second place against anyone, Porsche/Adam's performance might guarantee them a second place against anyone. Still, only Julie Chen knows......

He Sells Sea Shellys by the He Shore

Bon soir, Shelly.  I grew more fondly for her bowlegged baseballing demeanor as houseguests twiddled down, the whole "playing" thing vs. "sitting around in velour sweatsuits or hilarious tshirts referencing bacon*appletini*90210" otherthing.  This is the second comp this week they've thrown to Rachel. The feeds are down so word is yet in whether she has won the 13-minute competition but given her attendance record, perseverance, and positive post-Brendonjeff attitude, I duck as I type this:  Team Rachel.  Porsche's HoH blog proves that she mostly wanted a vacation, Jordan's goodbye to Shelly, wow, what a [floating] bitch,  Adam, what a floating bitch, and Kalia---don't even.  In other news, Big "Clown Shoes" Jeff argues things like "It wasn't a 'what if' situation Brendon, the clown shoe was there, like what if I had just looked to the side and found it."

10:30pm
Words in: Rachel won.

Two Things:

1)  Whhhhhhhhy did Porsche nominate Rachel/Jordan when it would be so easy to backdoor them.

2)  Hoooooooow much did CBS want Rachel to win another Bren-nana comp.

3) Those were the scariest dummies alive and Brendon's (teeth) looked like Zach, BB8.

Dolphin squeal "Teeeeeeth!"

Sob Story

TS Irene knocked power out of the nation of Libbytown, but we're back on the grid and keeping a close eye on any pet rabbits now that Glenn-Close-I-mean-Jordan realizes that Daniele gets to spend more of the summer with Jeff than she does.  Local BB math analysts have commented that after the Double Elimination episode, that this is when to kick it into gear, that in this game it is best to just lay low until now and then start winning comps (hi Porsche.)  Not that Porsche should win, but that this is what is happening, that Lawon surrendered himself and that other big players make big targets.  For all of Jordan's tears and resurfacing venom, I think it's worthwhile to note that she blamed Jeff's assholism on his being from the Northern United States and that Shelly agreed, but it is of my opinion that Shelly is now worthy of the winning title, that she entered the game playing, that Rachel also entered the game playing but she's tads too Rachel, that Jordan should have never entered the house and that she was just living her half-million life, that Adam is a kissass, that Porsche got Nutella'd and confused, and that Kalia is just too maddeningly pleased with herself for Libby Me to deal.  Nervous about this week's duo twist, would hate to continue to lose the house's best players 2 weeks in a row!

I know, Shelly.  Whose ego could ever be as easy to stroke as Jeff's???